Wordiness

This blog post assignment really made me aware of how I was presenting my ideas to my audience. after reading through some of my paragraphs, I realized that I was using too many words to get my point across, and therefore losing my point all together in the process. This helped me narrow down my paragraphs to what I really wanted to say.

Before:
According to AOTA's guide to Occupational Therapy in School Settings, occupational therapists can "observe a student engaging in an activity and provide strategies to facilitate the student's full participation." KidsHealth.org made a list of only some of the types of kids that occupational therapist can help. Some of them included students with, "birth injuries or birth defects . . . cancer . . .autism . . . mental health or behavioral problems," and many many more. But how do they help these children? According to AOTA's website, there are a whole range of activities that occupational therapist's can assist student's with, including "paying attention in class; concentrating on the task at hand, holding a pencil, musical instrument, or book in the easiest way; or just behaving appropriately in class."

After:
KidsHealth.org made a list of some of the types of kids that occupational therapists can help, like "birth injuries or birth defects . . . cancer . . .autism . . . mental health or behavioral problems," and many more. But how do they help? According to AOTA's website, there are a whole range of activities that occupational therapist's can assist students with, including "paying attention in class; concentrating on the task at hand, holding a pencil, musical instrument, or book in the easiest way; or just behaving appropriately in class."

Amy Gallagher Critchett "Fighting Wordiness" via learni.st